drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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