You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
