Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
