I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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