Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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