god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I did not marry a roomba.
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