Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
