Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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