I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize