it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
