so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
