He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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