You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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