we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
