On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
