Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize