so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
