Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
