A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
