I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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