I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize