I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
