Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
