idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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