Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
