You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize