I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
