so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
