This is not my ceiling
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
