uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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