i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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