Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
