let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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