Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize