how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
