So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
