i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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