So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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