just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
