remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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