Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
