So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
