Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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