You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize