Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
