You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
