oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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