The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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