She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I party with great urgency now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize