that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
