Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
