Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
