do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
