so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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