I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
