that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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