JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
