i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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