I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
