I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
