i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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